Skip to the ending I’d like to know

It’s funny because now recounting all the tears shed – lost nights of sleep, refusals of romance and fairytales, scoffs at happy endings, and dirty glances towards anyone judging me in the card aisle on valentines day….

I was in need of you and wanted you before I ever even knew of you. There you were right under my nose (virtually speaking) and who in the hell would know we were compatible anyways all things considered, I needed – longed – and secretly yearned for someone to prove all my dramatics and negative romance antics wrong…but he was never to be found. Anywhere I turned no white horses were coming, everyone I entertained the thought even near to compatible with, wasn’t even close, and anything I had thought was love was completely bereaved in comparison to you.

I cried at happy endings – hell I shed a tear at a few sad ones too, but I never let it show, sometimes I just forced myself to cry to get it all out behind closed doors and to prevail as a bad ass in the public eye with a leather jacket and a nose ring…I was putting on a facade even I couldn’t keep up with. I tried not to smile at life, I purposefully attempted to overlook the simplicities of joy – all in the vein attempt to prove happily ever after jargon to be wrong.

Before I met you – as I’ve always said, before I even knew you – I knew I loved you. Thank you for saving me from myself – we each needed a dose of the other and now I couldn’t even dream of another to share forever with – as we stroll together on this crazy journey fingers interlocked to stay, I smile and lean my head on your shoulder draping my arms in the most loving embrace around you knowing everything is going to be just fine – you will keep me safe, you will protect me and take care of me when I need it most, more than anything you can do – I will be right there to do it for you. To any negative thought and notion that led me to you – I thank myself for choosing to be so stubborn and vile, to forcefully see the world in such an ignorant concept because if I hadn’t – I most certainly wouldn’t have been led to you, and discovered sheer and utter happiness.

I now no longer envy happy endings in movies, avoid the card aisle like Forever 21 at the Mall of America on a Saturday afternoon, or scoff at the mere thought of a perfect ending; I can now open and read through our fairy tale without skipping to the ending, because I know…it’s a forever kind of thing.

I love you

The Road To Colorado

The wind blows a warm breeze, I think what an oxymoron a warm breeze is

The road never ends, the mountains are nowhere to be found

We keep towing along, staring at the back of the budget truck for 12+ hours

Can’t be any worse then staring at the open road ahead of you IN the budget truck though

The two girls are in the back acting like 13 year old frienemies

They finally wrestle it out and curl up into a snuggle

We turn off the recycled air for a few moments and open the windows to breathe it all in

As we enter into the beautiful state we now call home I feel for my husbands hand, my eyes not leaving the darkening scenery I’m observing out the window

He gives my hand a squeeze – one to say, I’m scared, I’m excited, We’re going to be just fine, and I love you

I love you too.

Thanks for taking this journey with me, no matter how fiercely independent I am; I couldn’t do it alone

My eyes fixate back to the budget truck in front of me and I smile

We are doing everything we set out to do 6+ months ago, while discussing this over coffee as friends…

Who knew we’d be in it together for the long haul?

….Create your own destiny – and envision all your dreams coming true – because they just might when you least expect them to.

here are some images of our “road to CO” things we made a point to do before we left, and things we happened to do and capture before we left in our own whimsical manner. Enjoy.

the best of buddies “untle Max”

“I spashed untle Max” – Brody

Photo credit: The early morning Hubby.

Sorry we don’t have the perfect window height bench for you here Kayl…we’ll get one soon enough

Prettiest eyeliner dog I know 🙂

Love Makes You Fat

Everybody wants that warm feeling, that body that molds to their niche, that hand to hold and person to grow old…
What they fail to mention in the textbooks and fairytales is one glaring fact that will defer you from the thing people search for forever. I’ve taken it upon myself to make it known from personal experience that…

Love makes you fat.

Love makes you eat more then you ever thought possible, makes you oblivious becasue you are so consumed by one elated emotion for such an extended period of time you haven’t glanced down to see that bulge growing or your jeans tightening. You go on dates, you drink wine, you laugh and love some more, you feast your mouths on more than your eyes used to – in a sense you don’t let yourself go – you let yourself love. You don’t mean for it to happen its just inevitable – even if you have a sweet workout regimen and thousands of dance dollars invested in get skinny quick promises…

Love makes you fat…but the feeling you get at the end of a long day where you feel hopeless and lost and you turn the key in the familiar lock to the door that holds your home you pour in and fall weak into the arms of the person that helped put those lbs around your midsection realizing they still love you all the same and see nothing but beauty within you. You learn that the extra jiggle is worth it because with a little wiggle it will go as quickly as it came, but the person that helped put it there is here to stay – so enjoy that extra glass of wine and meal in between meals because the love that you’ve found in the world will outlive, out learn, and out grow any body changes that happen during that time – hold tight to it because more often than not it’s important how you deal with the struggles that matter not the bulges that will disappear…

Happy Wiggling.

25 By 25

Remember the concept of a bucket list? This is that – but on a less grandeur scale. Take life by the horns, or the magic carpet tassels, or by the seams of your jeggings, get your tush out there and do all the things you’ve dreamed of – because a wise quote from the home decor section of kohl’s once told me, “If you can dream it, you can do it.”

1. Clean A Fish
2. Have work published
3. Write a column
4. Do A Stand up comedy show
5. Run a complete marathon [I’m talking to you Grandma’s marathon – I’m not walking half of you this time]
6. Be the sole purpose and organizer of a flash mob
7. Help someone in need without them knowing it
8. Be a certified sky diver [6 times in a year]
9. Achieve financial abundance with my passion
10. Write a killer toast or speech
11. Finish writing a book
12. Be a mentor
13. Brew my own beer
14. Ferment my own vino (13 & 14 are high on the priority list 🙂 )
15. Walk with no real destination
16. Change someones life
17. Learn to drive a stick shift
18.Fall deeply in love — helplessly and unconditionally [check]
19. Move out of MN (and halfway across the US [Check])
20. Reflect on my greatest weakness, and realize how it is my greatest strength
21. Pay homage to those in my life that are well deserving
22. Buy a billboard and advertise motivation
23. Slow Dance In The Middle Of A Crowded Street
24. Master and Refine the art of making mocha’s
25. The goal isn’t to live forever, rather create something that will