Why do we talk when we need to listen…

It’s not scary – It’s sad

I’m not terrified – I’m anguished

I’m not afraid – I feel for these people

They say he has no criminal history – yet just committed a crime that will be in history books

I’m confused and saddened – I feel violated to this isolated incident

It’s not just CO, or Denver – It’s all of us

This could have happened to any of us – but it didn’t so hug your parents and tell the ones you love

It’s not a religion or a political stance – It’s a common interest that brought these people together

It was unknowing strangers that were attacked – by someone who fully intended to harm

They say they’ll seek the death penalty – and that doesn’t make me sad

It’s not an eye for an eye – it’s a threat to a community of strangers

There was no intent and no purpose to this – I don’t understand how someone could be so empty inside that they would do one better than the selfless act of suicide, massacre

They say he’s mentally ill – I’d have to agree

They say the justice system tends to treat these people with the insanity plea to live a life in prison – those are my tax dollars

He wants to claim insanity?…- he was a PhD candidate…that’s called a serial killer

The mayor says “talk to your kids” – that clearly hasn’t been working

They mayor says “this is an isolated incident” – yes but it just sent shock waves through an entire nation

This happened 15 minutes from columbine – columbine was a similar incident just a different location

They said “talk to your kids” then too – it clearly hasn’t had a direct effect

More than how saddened I am for the victims and their families, more than how saddened I am for this mans parents, more than how saddened I am that this has created fear in a community that doesn’t need it, and more than sitting your children down tonight to talk to them and explain this incident…I think it’s about time we listen.

We can talk to our kids, parents, family, and friends until we are blue in the face – we can profile and stereotype this evil man and beg the question of “why” – why did he do this? all day long but what we have been ignoring for quite sometime more than “talking to your kids”…is listening to them. Below is the perfect example of why – a mother knows, she has that instinct she knows her son and his intelligence what he is capable of and unaware if the suspect is him she says “you’ve got the right person”…It’s time we listen – because we are a troubled nation that is constantly talked to (ie political ads) not talked with – it’s not always about asking the right question, it’s sometimes more important to ask A question.
More than listening to our kids – hug them, hug your parents, your friends, and everyone you love – no one should have to experience the pain Aurora CO will be feeling for quite some time, no one should lose someone for no reason. For all friends, family and loved ones of my own – I don’t say it enough and although today I wasn’t directly effected by something that happened in a nearby community it’s the wake up call we all need. You mean the world to me and I appreciate every single one of you; the character qualities, and personality traits you bring to our friendship – the kind caring manner in which you give your friendship and love to me doesn’t go a day unnoticed – I wish I could say it everyday, but know that on this specific day; you mean the world to me and I couldn’t live without you – don’t ever go anywhere I can’t get to you, because I love you that much.

My Prayers and condolences go to the friends, families and loved ones of the victims – may there come a time when you can find peace in your life and love in your heart again.

Excerpted from the Huffington Post: 

A San Diego, Calif., woman who identified herself as Holmes’ mother told ABC Newsshe had not yet been contacted by authorities. She said she was unaware of the shooting and expressed concern that her son may have been involved.

“You have the right person,” she said, apparently speaking on instinct and not second-guessing her son would be involved. “I need to call the police … I need to fly out to Colorado.”

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Too Many Have Died Young

Im tired of it…I can’t take anymore of this nonsense

It’s not nonsense in the fact that it’s silly – but in the sense of this is not happening

How many of these things am I supposed to endure within a year

How many feet of soil is going to bury my memories before it is willed to be enough

I’m tired of picking out black dresses that don’t have to do with cocktail hours or wedding receptions

I’ve never worn more black than in this past year

Its a good thing I kept a few blacks from the past few tragedies for the ‘just in cases’ shame on me for thinking that way

It really wrapped around to bite me…

I’m tired of doing my hair

Hearing the clicking of the perfect sized heels I secretly bought from payless because I’m cheap

And can’t afford funerals the way they are coming more frequent then birthdays this past year

I’m tired of hearing eulogies – I want to see these individuals standing there telling me what they are going to do with their lives

Not what they would have done….before the age of 23.

I’m tired of drinking so I’ll forget

Tired of watching people I love, the ones who are left behind in hurt, anguish, and barely rising from the ashes…

I can’t take any more outfit preparing, tear stained handkerchiefs, and old photo box digging

3 would be ridiculous 6 just isn’t real…

I’m sad, I’m hurting – it’s hard to close my eyes and have to see that smile and hear that laugh all over again

It’s hard to look back even further than before and realize someone my own age has died

It’s hard to realize that at the tender age of 22 we have whipped out more funeral outfits than we ever did prom dresses…

I keep learning the same thing over and over – but that isn’t stopping anyone from dying…why?

It hurts, there’s more holes than wholes – it’s starting to truly leave imprints where there should be staircases

…I’ll remember you in the best of lights forever and for always Jeff – a long time friend and a long time foe [only when it came to shotgun]

I’ve known you since the second grade – I dated your brother – I’ll see you laid to rest tomorrow…from the beginning until the end – thanks for being the light of so many peoples lives, that smile and laughter has instantaneously changed many moods through the years.

I just hope others learn from this as if they haven’t experienced any of the past 6 passings I have…take it with you – allow it to be a cornerstone because right now in this very moment, your 40 hours a week and measly overfined parking tickets don’t mean two shits in the grand scheme of things…this is your life and it’s passing you by: minute by minute….you can’t stop the hands, so what are you going to do….

You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

JMM    4/3/1989 – 8/24/2011 —-gone too young but never forgotten. May your soul find peace while we search for ours here on earth – watch over your wonderful family, I know they need it as well as your love and light…be well, you will be missed and until we meet on the other side whatever that is….see ya like the cool side of the pillow, love you.

Searching For All The Right Words

I stand there in shock, literally watching doctors and nurses swirl around us unplugging the machines we’ve been dreading to not hear the familiar beeps and buzzing from, I stand back and observe as they are turning the switch to ‘off’ and severing the bright future we had always seen for you. As I stand in the shadow of sorrow I listen and watch as the woman you love stands at the foot of your bed and expresses to the degree exactly how much she loves you – and will for all of time. Her words reside deep in my soul, and when her voice wavered with sadness it was the most raw and real experience to see the love and emotion evoke itself from every fiber of her being. I never could have done what she did that day – in front of a handful of people and dually an equal amount of doctors and nurses, share her love for you, profess it for all to hear as though this was the day she gave you her vows and word that she will love you for all of her time and will see you when you meet again.

I watch you depart the familiar surroundings people have come to regard as ‘your room’ for the past week, wheels turning toward another room where you are going to selflessly give yourself to save 6 more. I hold her while she sobs – for this is the visual of departing another being, what it feels like to actually say and see goodbye, I can’t help but begin to sob as well as you roll by and we fill the hallways with grief. Enough time has passed now that I can look back on that day and smile – smile to witness such love, such bravery, and such selflessness to inspire me to try everyday to be a better version of myself than yesterday for we never know when the hands on our clock will stop. I smile more now than ever for the acknowledged fact that you continued to give even after you were gone, in such an altruistic manner, I’ve read the ‘thank you’s’ received from the man and his family that were gifted your liver. The ones the children made, suddenly made it real for me how caring and giving you truly were, the thank you said in simplistic child scribbles “Thank you for giving my daddy another chance.”

…..

I’ve been wracking my brain for hours on what to put in the contents of this letter that could be a monumental recourse of history when read alongside many others by a judge in charge of your murderers sentence. I realize there will never be enough pretty words or strung together sentences that can do justice to who you were and how you loved, but I promise you that even though you are gone from this Earth we are going to make sure your memory has done more than lived on – its changed something because of how many people care. It has been my greatest pleasure having you as a part of my life first as a friend, then as a loved one to my best friend – you’ve touched more lives than you know, and that is the simple reason I’m leading the masses to appropriate the just part of the word ‘justice’. Your selflessness has driven me these past four days to do things even I didn’t think were possible – your memory has shown me that we’ve been given the opportunity to move mountains – and we’re working our hardest to do that, because we know without the blink of an eye you’d do that for us.

Thank you for blessing my life with your presence and compassion towards a very close friend. We’ve reinstalled the fight and we don’t plan on going quietly, see you the next time I see you, I know you are doing great things for us up there.

[This post is dedicated to Thanh Tri Vu, who so tragically lost his life last September. We aren’t allowing him to lose his voice, even if we have to speak it – if this post moved you in any way shape or form to feel, please go to the following link and ‘like’ it. We find strength in numbers on this journey to justice. Thank you for anything positive you choose to do from this]

https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Giving-Thanh-Vu-A-Voice/229383507088157