I’m at a standstill, I see what you want and I see what you need…
the two end results don’t look to be meeting at a crossroads at any time on their journey
I see your red marks on my paper, and your sideways comments on my work
and I have yet to blink and actually give a shit.
I see the project and mundane product you ask for
but then I hear the perimeters to creativity and limits to what I love
Why indulge my heart and soul into a creative source
when I’m going through the motions for someone else’s desire and satisfaction…
Your 39’s out of 40’s don’t piss me off, even your 15’s out of 40’s don’t irritate me
what has me unnerved is you thinking your sporadic marks for me have any limits on the way
I have done, continue to do, and will be doing things.
The fact that we are given “creative freedom” is an instant contradiction to the laws and limits you set down to that freedom.
I already know what I want and how I’m going to get it, you can push me down as many times as you’d like, I’ve been practicing getting back up for years…
Did I take the road less traveled? you bet, the mountain less climbed? mmhmm
Have my hands hurt at one point and time from all the scaling I’ve done? Only the calusses show for that
And has there been times of adversity where giving up crossed my mind more times than continuing on? Sure as shit.
But I’ve never given up on my dream – I’ve never set down my limits – and have never changed my perceptions of success because regardless of what your stupid papers and ignorant comments may say – a degree doesn’t make a photographer, rather a conformity of sorts in which the way you want us to do things…the way you’ve done things in your success…which is great – but how do we find our own when we are given the perimeters of someone else’s definition of a high standard? Forgive me for blowing past what you ask – and doing what I expect out of myself, if that gets me less than half the high score, well, I promise to not lose sleep over it.