I thought I knew what this was, I thought I knew what I could expect; but in all my expectations – I was unexpectedly wrong.
My mind establishes continuity to yours while no words leave our lips, but eyes search the dimly lit outlines of our flesh like features until we can’t look anywhere else then where we want to…eyes meet and coy smiles form, I thought I grasped the situation for what it was and what it is, but I am unexpectedly wrong.
It isn’t something we created, nor something that was sought after by either parties; in fact- it was something we brushed off and pushed away, all in fear and all in vein. This is something that was serendipitous to happen for us and between us, I smile and you follow quickly thereafter, I hurt and you slowly wrap your arms around me to feel the same.
I thought I knew, but I was only acquainted with a smidgen of it; I was only let in to a meager glimpse of it. This thing we hold can’t be enclosed in its own, it can only be nurtured to grow. It can’t be clutched in fear of breaking, and it can’t be relinquished in fear of flying; it can just be.
This closeness between us is not only as complicated as magnetism, but it is also as simple as gravity – you can’t prevent it, stop it, nor fight it; the best thing to do in these situations is to let it be, to sit back and see where it can go.
Our hearts collide at the same pulsating beats because that’s exactly what the universe wanted for us; to be able to feel so completely close to someone without being them, but so scared to trust that you can be so close to them, that it reminds us we are human, and this is real.
I thought I had a clue; but like Cher Horowitz, baby I’m clueless.
You’ve become the unexpected expectation in my life I look forward to, I count on, and know I can rely on. Thank you for showing me that what we can see and what we can be are two different things, standing on the same page looking in the same direction, I find comfort in the warmth of your hand and the closeness of your soul, you smile I follow quickly thereafter, I breathe the easiest I ever have while being unexpectedly wrong…
[Hesitation to tell someone exactly what they mean to you is a verbal way to hold down something that’s meant to move, do yourself a favor and let them know, you deserve it]