[Unexpectedly Wrong]

I thought I knew what this was, I thought I knew what I could expect; but in all my expectations – I was unexpectedly wrong.

My mind establishes continuity to yours while no words leave our lips, but eyes search the dimly lit outlines of our flesh like features until we can’t look anywhere else then where we want to…eyes meet and coy smiles form, I thought I grasped the situation for what it was and what it is, but I am unexpectedly wrong.

It isn’t something we created, nor something that was sought after by either parties; in fact- it was something we brushed off and pushed away, all in fear and all in vein. This is something that was serendipitous to happen for us and between us,  I smile and you follow quickly thereafter, I hurt and you slowly wrap your arms around me to feel the same.

I thought I knew, but I was only acquainted with a smidgen of it; I was only let in to a meager glimpse of it. This thing we hold can’t be enclosed in its own, it can only be nurtured to grow. It can’t be clutched in fear of breaking, and it can’t be relinquished in fear of flying; it can just be.

This closeness between us is not only as complicated as magnetism, but it is also as simple as gravity – you can’t prevent it, stop it, nor fight it; the best thing to do in these situations is to let it be, to sit back and see where it can go.

Our hearts collide at the same pulsating beats because that’s exactly what the universe wanted for us; to be able to feel so completely close to someone without being them, but so scared to trust that you can be so close to them, that it reminds us we are human, and this is real.

I thought I had a clue; but like Cher Horowitz, baby I’m clueless.

You’ve become the unexpected expectation in my life I look forward to, I count on, and know I can rely on. Thank you for showing me that what we can see and what we can be are two different things, standing on the same page looking in the same direction, I find comfort in the warmth of your hand and the closeness of your soul, you smile I follow quickly thereafter, I breathe the easiest I ever have while being unexpectedly wrong…

[Hesitation to tell someone exactly what they mean to you is a verbal way to hold down something that’s meant to move, do yourself a favor and let them know, you deserve it]

Birthday Girl

Do you ever have that constant influence in your life whispering in your ear – sitting on the good angel side of your shoulder – endlessly pushing you harder than you’ve been pushed, accepting your faults, but knowing your strengths sometimes when you can’t see them through the fogged windshield of life…

I have been blessed beyond measure for not only the things I have in my life, but moreso for all the people I have – I have a group of friends that has set an unprecedented bar to which people I’ve met along the journey of life can’t hold a flame to – I used to get discouraged that I wasn’t finding large groups of friends in college, or at new work place settings, but then I came to the full circle realization to the truth of the whole matter…see my friends have such a high standard they set for themselves and the company they keep – that the bar we have in tact for friendship is one that keeps our perception and perspective of who we want in our lives in clear sight.

Auntie Mawri, as we’ve appropriately coined the nickname, has been my saint my savior and my guiding light since we became friends, I can’t tell you when or where our friendship began – but I can’t think of a day I haven’t been glad it did. With the wisest of words and the purest of hearts, you have guided me through a large portion of life’s bumpy roads – you’ve always been a guiding light and a warm hug when I needed one. Having the ability to listen to me not just hear and hurt when I hurt is the most beautiful thing about you – I have held other friends to a standard you have set for my life, I can honestly say over half of them couldn’t obtain it – I’m not upset, I smile knowing you’re not only one of a kind – but the character and integrity of your being is pure gold, and to me that’s worth more than any silver spare change character I’ve found in others that have walked out quicker than they walked in.

Through life’s bends and curves – you’ve taught me when to fight and when to swerve, I can’t thank you enough for your endless presence in my life and the amount of inspiration you bring to the table for me. Watching you board a plane with a one way destination to California was one of the hardest things for all of us…we secretly knew you were going to do bigger things than any of us could have ever imagined…thanks for proving us right. We’ve always said that our unique ability to adapt to any environment has truly kept us all best friends for longer than anyone else would have expected – but for that I’m grateful. Visiting you this past summer I noted on the punctual fact that no matter how many the miles, oceans, bi ways, highways, and divides – there’s never a space great enough, or a place small enough to keep us from each other – our friendship knows no lengths, most strengths, and a love that I haven’t found anywhere else…

On this big day birthday girl I hope your wildest dreams come true – because you deserve that much 10 fold – thank you for giving me the present of your presence everyday of my life. We need more people like you in this world – thanks for making it a wonderful place, Happy Birthday Auntie Mawri….Love – Auntie Mayden.