Nanny Diaries

Many moons ago….

I give you props, using the verb ‘parenting’ with such ease but continually struggle with the definite motions
What’s it like going to sleep at night next to little bodies that call someone else mom by accident all day?
How does it make your heart ache when your baby reaches for me and cries when you hold her?
It must not be too much because I’m still working overtime while being underpaid & underappreciated.
Does it make you feel superior to be so consummate in a work place where people come in and out of your job, but upon returning home do you ever realize where your real feeling of accomplishments should lie?
It astonishes me that you don’t even balk when requesting me to do some of the things I handle in a day
It’s not my responsibility to tell three children their dog they’ve known their whole life is going to die
It’s not my responsibility to watch over 15 pheasants in addition to watching three kids, and when your pheasant hunting retriever eats them all, guess what? That’s not my problem either. Punishing her is almost laughable, but in your convoluted world, it makes perfect sense to punish your dog for doing exactly what you trained her to do.
It’s not my responsibility to know what your child’s social security, room, and pin number is at school
& when I’m called Bridget by the kids teachers, I don’t even bother correcting them anymore because the facts are, they will always be seeing more of me than they will ever see of you.
You call yourself a parent but you don’t know the first thing about parenting.
You ask things of me that you will NEVER be able to deliver yourself.
It’s really going to break your heart in 10 yrs when your children won’t be able to sit in the same room as you because they see the alienation of affection at hand & the relationship will be so broken that even a pallet of super glue couldn’t mend that back together.
You have nothing but wonderful children and I hope one day you will realize that all the wealth in the world didn’t give you that, but it can certainly take it from you.
What you fail to realize is that it’s not even about the title of parenting itself, it’s about the actions that go into parenting, do you know how many first days of …. you’ve missed? How many first words, temper tantrums, and funny quotes you’ve missed out on? You once said to me “well I would like to thank you for taking all the pictures I’ll never get the chance to”, you have the chance, and you just don’t seize it.
Using your useless life as an excuse, devoting your time and energy to everything but your beautiful children. It pains me to leave this situation undone, but the more I stay the more undone I become.
There won’t be a day that goes by when I won’t think of those beautiful little faces laughing, telling me how much they love me, and enjoying the simplicities of life. I think I’ve finally found out what the feeling of being a mother is like. It used to scare me thinking  to myself that I could never do that every day, I don’t know if I could give my children everything they need; through this journey I have lulled those fears, now I know that as Mrs. Mom, I will be a rock star. My only apprehension I have left is this:  I don’t know if I could ever create something more stunning & ideal than these three gems you have created right here. You’d be doing yourself a disservice to not realize and appreciate how lucky you are.

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