Truth #1 – Lack Of Allure

Now I’m not the most hygiene efficient human being on the planet – but let’s not get carried away to say I don’t shower or take care of myself. I prefer to shower maybe 3 times a week, I don’t wash clothes after only one wear – and I certainly don’t believe in more than one shower a day. I get sweaty – maybe even stinky but have you ever heard of baby wipes? Yeah – so have my vitals.

I’d have to say the worst time of year for me is the summer, because I’m a flower child I love being outdoors and barefoot – but with the MN heat index and the dirt of the city coating my skin it makes it a tough call to bath constantly. I’m a dirty bird, I get real sweaty, real often – I was just saying how if I had a garage band I would name it the sweaty upper lips…open interpretation. Needless to say among all other hinges of hygiene – showering isn’t my strong suit.

Belching without notice, warning or any further apologies to follow after – again my lack of allure must have fell out of my purse five miles back along with my new heels and my dignity. I burp in public, I snort when I laugh – I eat with my mouth open because it’s comfortable and quite frankly I’m not out for impressing anyone, and anyone that may be impressed by me?…well don’t be. I wear socks a few times until the wash is calling their name – I don’t do my dishes, I look like a pack rat and my room looks like a hamster has been there.

Needless to say, the more obvious of traits is the perfect one to point off to kickstart this list/journey of faults and heinousness. I doubt you’d ever see this list on a profile, then again I haven’t succumb to that desperation quite yet. I’ll get there someday – but until then; ride fast, drink warm beer, wear socks with beads, ruin the myth of santa for small children, and live everyday.

Be Well


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