Carrying The World

Recently a family friend of mine had become pregnant after many months of trying…we were all so happy; her and her husband deserved it – they are such wonderful people. The pregnancy went off without a hitch, and with each growing day there was a little more growth to that beautiful belly – see I happen to think pregnant women are one of the most beautifully sexy creatures out there. Sure they feel like sweaty whales, but that’s how I feel on a daily basis, and I assure you, I’m not pregnant. Pregnant women are so beautiful to me because they are truly carrying around the world with them…sure there’s a baby in there, but did you ever wonder who that baby is going to turn out to be? The next president of the USA, a world leader, a diplomat, a writer, an artist, an engineer, someone who has little to nothing but turns ruin into something completely redeeming and admirable, someone who could change the world…pregnant women are doing a whole lot more than carrying a baby. Our family friend was in her final trimester and loving it, giving into cravings, seeing how cute she looked pregnant, the baby showers, the belly rubs, and all the excitement for the little bundle to arrive. Then came the day – it was go time, since we are only family friends and not family we waited patiently, which is hard for me to do. The phone rang, it was a restricted number…”Hello, it’s Meg, is it time?”…

Upon arriving to the birthing wing of the hospital there was great sadness radiating from a room where a great amount of joy should be…I slowly walked into the room and glanced over to see the sadness in the parents faces. I lowered my camera, for taking ‘newborn’ pictures wasn’t going to be on the schedule for the day…I was supposed to take what I like to call ‘ripe’ pictures – when there’s a brand new baby, fresh out of the womb, still ripe and wrinkly. That day I learned the true definition and understanding of what it meant to have a stillborn baby. When the family and friends had left and were done consoling this couple, they pulled me aside and asked if I would mind still taking pictures before the doctors had to take her away…I have never felt more honored then at that moment. I tearfully obliged, for I knew the importance and weight these pictures were to hold for years to come…this would be the only lasting memory of a child, grandchild, cousin, niece, loving little human being.

I told the couple I would let them clean up and I would be back in an hour or so if that worked for them, they nodded in simultaneous agreement – shock barely leaving their faces for emotion to take place. I exited quietly as I came to a nearby coffee shop and wrote the following entry, it was in that room that I realized if I ever do choose to reproduce, it is truly a gift, a miracle, and such a beautiful experience that although they didn’t ever actually meet their daughter while her heart was beating, they already knew so much about her and knew that she was going to be great someday. While I buzzed around the room, doing my job, just letting them relax while I turned on music and do whatever they felt necessary for the photos – this is a type of shoot I’ve never done before; and I honestly had no clue what to do. I simply said “treat Emma like she hasn’t gone yet, how would you like your daughter to see you? Speak to her the way you would have liked to, because no matter what your beliefs or faith, she can hear you right now.” The couple smiled and I began to capture what will be prints that will forever grace the walls of their home, the hearts of their family, and their minds for many years to come. I’m glad I had the job of standing behind the camera for there was not a dry eye in the room and it was just the four of us, I have never seen so much love and energy flow from two loving humans into their little one that was already looking down from above. I wish them all the worlds happiness, and comfort while they journey down their path of grieving and healing – I also thank them for opening my eyes that day to what a blessing a baby is, and ‘its time’ doesn’t always mean the time is now…I wrote the following in honor of Emma, you are a gem, so beautiful that your light will forever shine for decades to come, your mommy and daddy love you very much, but you already knew that.

  • As my child, my flesh and blood, I vow to love, respect and honor you all the days of your life. I promise to not raise my voice in anger towards you, but instead speak softly of my advice and guidance in an effort to raise you up into the person you’re going to be. I vow to never take your love for granted, I will forgive quickly and learn from you new things. I vow to never, ever raise my hand to you, unless it is an outstretched arm with my hand for you to grab when you stumble, even fall in life. I will pick you up, dust you off, wipe away your tears and send you toward greatness once again. I vow to always love and appreciate you for all you are worth to not only me, but the rest of the world. I promise I will always and forever believe in you, I will guide you the best I can, but ultimately the decision is yours for the making, and whatever that decision may be, I will stand behind you with whole-hearted support, because I know you will be great. I vow to always be truthful with you and will expect the same in return; I promise that, although at times, you may not feel like it, your best will always be good enough for me. I promise to never speak too softly to you, but know it’s because I’m your mother and it’s out of my deep seeded love for you. Although we may not always have a lot, we will always have one another, enough to get by, and an abundance of love that will keep us going when life gets hard, which it will, but I will be right next to you when the struggles get to be too much to bear. When the load is too heavy and you struggle to stand, you begin to tire from the fight, I will be there for you to lean when you cannot stand tall anymore. You will be beautiful both inside and out. I know you’ll have drive and determination that this world has been needing, you will be both bold and daring, a natural-born leader that I pray will use their strengths for good. You will be stubborn like your mother, but emotional and compassionate as well. I realize you haven’t been born yet, or even planned. But I anticipate the moment I will be able to walk around carrying the world with me. I can’t wait to meet you little one, I am already so much in love with you…
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One thought on “Carrying The World

  1. What I love most deeply about this is that you faced a situation that most people would deem uncomfortable or awkward, and instead you looked at it as a beautiful and pure depiction of love. THAT is something to capture and hold forever, both in your heart and in a wooded frame on your wall.

    Realizing the beauty in things is a conscious choice that has to be made. Thank you for choosing it.

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