Searching For All The Right Words

I stand there in shock, literally watching doctors and nurses swirl around us unplugging the machines we’ve been dreading to not hear the familiar beeps and buzzing from, I stand back and observe as they are turning the switch to ‘off’ and severing the bright future we had always seen for you. As I stand in the shadow of sorrow I listen and watch as the woman you love stands at the foot of your bed and expresses to the degree exactly how much she loves you – and will for all of time. Her words reside deep in my soul, and when her voice wavered with sadness it was the most raw and real experience to see the love and emotion evoke itself from every fiber of her being. I never could have done what she did that day – in front of a handful of people and dually an equal amount of doctors and nurses, share her love for you, profess it for all to hear as though this was the day she gave you her vows and word that she will love you for all of her time and will see you when you meet again.

I watch you depart the familiar surroundings people have come to regard as ‘your room’ for the past week, wheels turning toward another room where you are going to selflessly give yourself to save 6 more. I hold her while she sobs – for this is the visual of departing another being, what it feels like to actually say and see goodbye, I can’t help but begin to sob as well as you roll by and we fill the hallways with grief. Enough time has passed now that I can look back on that day and smile – smile to witness such love, such bravery, and such selflessness to inspire me to try everyday to be a better version of myself than yesterday for we never know when the hands on our clock will stop. I smile more now than ever for the acknowledged fact that you continued to give even after you were gone, in such an altruistic manner, I’ve read the ‘thank you’s’ received from the man and his family that were gifted your liver. The ones the children made, suddenly made it real for me how caring and giving you truly were, the thank you said in simplistic child scribbles “Thank you for giving my daddy another chance.”


I’ve been wracking my brain for hours on what to put in the contents of this letter that could be a monumental recourse of history when read alongside many others by a judge in charge of your murderers sentence. I realize there will never be enough pretty words or strung together sentences that can do justice to who you were and how you loved, but I promise you that even though you are gone from this Earth we are going to make sure your memory has done more than lived on – its changed something because of how many people care. It has been my greatest pleasure having you as a part of my life first as a friend, then as a loved one to my best friend – you’ve touched more lives than you know, and that is the simple reason I’m leading the masses to appropriate the just part of the word ‘justice’. Your selflessness has driven me these past four days to do things even I didn’t think were possible – your memory has shown me that we’ve been given the opportunity to move mountains – and we’re working our hardest to do that, because we know without the blink of an eye you’d do that for us.

Thank you for blessing my life with your presence and compassion towards a very close friend. We’ve reinstalled the fight and we don’t plan on going quietly, see you the next time I see you, I know you are doing great things for us up there.

[This post is dedicated to Thanh Tri Vu, who so tragically lost his life last September. We aren’t allowing him to lose his voice, even if we have to speak it – if this post moved you in any way shape or form to feel, please go to the following link and ‘like’ it. We find strength in numbers on this journey to justice. Thank you for anything positive you choose to do from this]!/pages/Giving-Thanh-Vu-A-Voice/229383507088157


One thought on “Searching For All The Right Words

  1. I respect everything about this. Boiling months worth of feelings into a simple, written letter can feel like a tremendous amount of pressure is put on the words that you choose. In any case, your passion and activism here is honorable on all counts.

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