My heart skips a couple pulsating movements so my ears can re assess what they thought they just heard. The words fall to the ground like a full drink tray on a new waitress’ first day.
My heart stumbles to pick up where it left off, adding a few extra beats here and there to catch up to the heavy breaths leaving these lungs of mine. The beats are louder and few in between, I feel my face flush and not knowing what to say I excuse myself out of there.
Gripping the door handle I hold back any ounce of emotion that I have left in me, for it is the only thing that will keep me from bawling; I slide in the drivers seat, no sooner than the keys are in the ignition the tears have begun to flow equating to a volume that could top this seasons snowfall record. I don’t turn up the heat, I don’t turn the radio down, click my seatbelt, check my mirrors or put that trooper of a Focus into reverse. I sit in my cloth bucket seats, head in my hands, sobbing uncontrollably.
Whenever someone says they were sobbing uncontrollably I always respect the exaggeration and leave it at that. Head down, shoulders shrugging with each gasp for air and every messy breath crying out in between. You can’t bear to lift your head in fear that people passing by will see into your car. I sob at every word formed together to make the past few sentences I heard, I sob at every thought of where it went wrong, and I sob at the face of the truth; It’s over and gone.
I feel so empty like something I’ve had for a very long time was just taken from me and will never be given back to me. Like a family heirloom that was bestowed upon me and had suddenly grown legs, and walked away. This is no tangeable good, no prized posession; this is someone’s heart, someone that has been holding on to a good portion of it for quite some time.