A story that’s better told with gaps and no endings

I feel nasuea welling up inside of me; my eyes see 3 of everything with every pulsating beat and back beat in between the last headache and the next one. I have come to the conclusion of drinking to help numb the pain; for the times when my maxalt prescription was too expensive without proper financial stability ($75 a tablet) and sanity looked to be sitting in the bottom of a half full liquor bottle. I hadn’t known the feeling ‘well’ in quite sometime, I wasn’t an alcoholic so why was I putting this lighter fluid into my body by choice? Ask anyone with a severe medical problem that isn’t approved for medical marijuana; it’s the cheapest form of medication that will ever be seen…Headaches have debilitated my will to get out of bed, be social, and be around bright lights + loud music for a good chunk of my lifetime; they strike without warning and cause such pain that I can barely stand upright to walk forth. Head aches is an understatement and more of an earth quake type feeling that’s rictor scale worthy; the doctor’s have told me they are genetic and since my mother suffers them; I am expected to do the same, comforting…I had survived one full year without health insurance (thanks Bush) and without having to see the doctor; in good health and spirits I awaited Jan. 1st for the day where everyone under the age of 26 can be back on Ma & Pa’s insurance (thank god). It came, I was thrilled to hold that poorly laminated white piece of paper with my name on it and group code; obtaining this piece of crucial financial support only meant one thing for me; back to the doctor’s office it was…My spoon ring passes between my fingers from hand to hand; I tap my foot anxiously on the linoleum floor awaiting the doctors arrival back from what seems like his 5 hour lunch break. I try to focus on the article in front of me telling me the way to get that ‘perfect’ bikini body; meanwhile my mind couldn’t give a shit less, retracing the words I was just told by someone I assume a stranger but treating me like a close friend while they hesitantly allow the words to fall out of their mouth and flat on the floor. The words hit the ground beneath us so hard that I awaited the echo to come around the corridor and back into the room only so I could hear them once more…

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